Guyatus: The New Sexual Revolution

Abort operation manhunt and stop wasting your time.

NYC is notorious. It’s the city that never sleeps and the city where dreams are made; yet lo and behold the vast concrete jungle that set forth as the perfect playground for adults. It doesn’t take long before a single gal to comes face-to-face with the ruthless city of one-night stands. Single women of New York, I urge you to take a Guyatus.

The idea is simple. Take a break from men and do it now. Focus on yourself and good things will follow suit. Elizabeth Payne, 26 had given up on men completely before she found the hunk of her dreams. “I was broken,” Payne confessed, “but I refused to let my happiness be dictated by having a man in my life.” Single women know this old wives tale all too well. Falling back into old behavioral patterns and repeating the same mistakes. “It was a challenge,” Payne said, “but obviously you can’t be upset forever.”

Guyatus means empowerment, because you call the shots. 23-year-old Brooklyn artist, Jesse Lackowitz, has recently sworn off men and claims to have never felt better about herself. “When its all over, you feel kind of used,” she admits. Now, Lackowitz boasts that her newfound sexual freedom has enabled her to be happy on a consistent basis. “He couldn’t ever make enough time for me”, she said, “so I had to move on even though I liked him.”

Happiness aside, Guyatus can also bring personal fulfillment through professional enrichment if you so choose. Former model, Dee Matthews, 28, showed up sans beauty rest for an US Weekly photo shoot after an infamous New York one-nighter that she thought seemed like a good idea at the time. “He’s only going to distract you and get in the way,” she revealed. “You’ll be on the couch cuddling instead of focusing on your career.” Matthews believes that women are but a mere conquest for men. As soon as they’ve won us over, they get bored and move on. So why waste our time trying? Matthews mentality has changed and now, she’s moved on.

“Why is it that we always have to change for them?” Andrea Senyitko, 24, asked. “Its not like they ever change for us!” Senyitko humbly admits that she continues to pursue the hunt and be succumbed by the chase because she wants a relationship. After all, what woman doesn’t? She also knows that at the current rate, its not going to get any better or be any different. “I’m just looking for that connection, but each time I find it, I get hurt again”. Senyitko came to New York looking for love, but found it in all the wrong places. The vicious cycle repeats itself as the surplus of single women in the city is recycled over and over again.

“In New York, there’s just too many options,” states Ikuko Mizutsubo, 27. “Whether its restaurants or women.” And like any good New York restaurant, there’s another good-lookin’ New York woman right around the corner — likely at the next bar down the block. And with five women for every one man in this city, this makes our predator weak to commit and hungrier for his next victim. “I think the problem might be NYC,” she adds, “everybody is constantly looking for something better.”

True, the Big Apple attracts the big dreamers. Those who take the big plunge to swim with the big fishes and hit it big are probably a bit different than small town U.S.A. suburban settlers. Its possible that those of us who dream bigger, climb higher and aspire for more could be of the same breed who may also trade up for something or someone a little better. New Yorkers are busy-bodies, too. While we trust our man that its work-related, we can’t help but wonder its unsanctioned relations. Whatever the case, no one man or woman wants to find themselves on the other side of the spectrum, left behind in their lover’s dust.

Perhaps its not entirely New York’s fault either. From the dozen or so women interviewed for this article, none of them were older than 30. “Call me crazy, but I’m convinced it’s a generational thing,” explained Amy Winter, 27 — a product of swingin’ parents from London. “My folks grew up in the ‘60s and ‘70s when the idea of free love was engrained in everyone around them.” Interesting. So who do we point the finger at now? Do we mom and dad for being too easy on the boys?

If the act of chivalry is dying and dating has become obsolete, is there hope for single women? “It’s a horrible cliché,” Winter adds, “but when you least expect it you really do meet someone.” Winter speaks of the end result of her own Guyatus — proof that love isn’t found only in fairy tales. However, don’t necessarily sit around waiting for Prince Charming to show up, and certainly don’t go out looking for him either.

This is not another tragic New York love story, and no, I am not Carrie Bradshaw. These are true accounts of no more sex in the city with promising end results. With the hype of said blockbuster faded and the series embedded in our memories as reruns, women must face the real reality of being single, and its not-so-fabulous side effects.

Some pointers? Never question if it’s a date or not. If you’re on Guyatus, a romantic dinner for two counts, while meeting for drinks at a bar past midnight does not. A true Guyatus will allow you recognize the old jerks with a clear head, and restrain you repeating old mistakes. If you claim you’re on Guyatus and meet someone new, and are convinced that this one is different, then you’ve likely fallen off the Guyatus wagon. Bear in mind that many New Yorkers (namely men) are not looking for long term relationships. Flings are instant gratification — a characteristic intrinsically common to the nature of this beast.

Your Guyatus begins when you leave the bar alone at 4 a.m. and proves effective when being single no longer means feeling lonely. Jump on the Guyatus bandwagon and join the revolution — trust me ladies, you’ll be glad you did. ***